Lullaby
by Ejes
Summary: After what happened at Castle Oblivion, Axel is forced to ask Demyx some information about a mission the number 9 went on. But never would he have expected to see the musician in such a pitiful state...


_**Back with the shameful ship! (by the way I got severly judged by some friends last weekend for shipping VanQua, I REGRET NOTHING)  
Anyway, it's been pretty sunny lately, the weather is nice, birds are chirping... This is the perfect time for ANGST, what do you think? Yeah, thought so!**_

 _ **Disclaimer : I don't own KH and I promise Nomura is the main culprit behind any pain inflicted here.**_

* * *

"Hey, Demyx, I'd like to ask you something about that last report you wr- Demyx?"

Axel froze in his tracks, his hand still on the doorknob. He had come back from Castle Oblivion just a few of hours ago, and, after reporting all of the _incidents_ that happened there to Saïx and Xemnas, he did some catching up, reading a few reports of missions that were supposed to be his but were given to other people while he was gone. Of course, Demyx being the laziest creature he knew, the report was poorly done and there was no useful information on it. The best move was to ask Demyx directly, and hope he'd still remember everything.

Before pushing that door, Axel had plenty of ideas of what Demyx could be doing in his room. Playing the sitar. Taking his fourth nap of the day. Eating some snacks he'd have stolen from the kitchen.

He wouldn't have expected to see the number nine curled into a ball, his arms around his knees, crying on his bed.

"Axel?" His shaking voice was pitiful to hear. He probably had tried to have a steady voice, but that was a failure. Axel stepped in and quickly closed the door behind him.

"Is… anything the matter?" He wasn't really good at this, especially since he wasn't quite Demyx's best friend. He usually wouldn't even have cared much about the young man, but the sight of him, his eyes red and puffy, wasn't _usual_.

"Please don't tell anyone." Demyx pleaded. "If they know, I'm as good as dead. I don't want to be turned into a Dusk. I don't want them to see me weaker than I already am."

Axel thought about his time at the Castle Oblivion. About Naminé, about that boy, Sora. About the true meaning of having a heart. He was starting to doubt they really didn't have one. Seeing Demyx in tears made him doubt even more.

"I won't. Do you, uh, do you want to talk about it or something?"

Demyx shrugged. "I don't know. I don't think you'd understand anyway."

"Fine with me, then. I'll come back tomorrow." Axel turned away, ready to open the door once again.

"Is it true, what they say, though?"

He looked over his shoulder. Demyx was staring at him with his big, sad eyes. "I don't know. What do they say, exactly?"

"They say… Everyone at Castle Oblivion was annihilated."

"Well then, they're right."

"But you lived. We've been told all of you were dead, and you suddenly come back! Isn't there a chance that any other one might come back?"

In his eyes glowed something Axel didn't like. Hope. He sighed and sat on the bed next to Demyx.

"No, there is no chance of that. I'm the only survivor. I'm sorry, man, but none of them will ever come back."

Demyx bit his lower lip, his eyes filling with tears again.

"Oh. I see. Fine, then. That was stupid of me to believe that anyway."

"Could it be… You were waiting for someone's return in particular?"

At first, Demyx didn't answer. He looked… Gone, lost in thought. Then he slowly nodded.

"The last thing she told me was that once she came back, she'd break my jaw and make a necklace out of my teeth. So I wonder why… When I heard she wouldn't be coming back, I…" His voice broke and he stopped talking. Axel frowned.

"She? You mean Larxene? I thought you guys hated each other."

Demyx nodded once again.

"We did. And yet… We didn't. Did you know she barely ever slept?"

"I've seen her up in the middle of the night a couple of times, but I never really thought about it."

Demyx sniffed. "Every time she'd close her eyes, she'd be assaulted with memories from her former life. I don't know what, but it was bad enough for her to stay awake no matter what. So we'd sometimes spend some night together. Talking, mostly. I would distract her from these memories. She would occasionally fall asleep for good, and I found out that if I played some music, she seemed to have less nightmares. So I'd play a lullaby until I fell asleep too. And when morning came, we would return to our usual life of bickering and insulting each other, because that was what we did best."

"You're telling me the reason you took so much naps was because you stayed awake all night for her?"

The musician shrugged. "Maybe not. I've always liked napping. I don't think we were really friends or anything anyway. When morning came, we still hated each other. But now… Now I miss her, and I don't even know why. They told us we had no heart, so why does it hurt so much?"

He clutched his chest, his hands shaking. "If they ever find out I have a heart, they will say I'm defective, and get rid of me. But I don't want to die. I don't want to finish as a Dusk. I don't want… To forget what a feeling is."

Axel stared at him for a moment, their silence only interrupted by Demyx's sniffing. After a couple of minutes, the number eight finally sighed.

"Listen up, Demyx. All that you told me? Don't ever tell anyone. Just like Larxene and you acted different when together and when in public, you will have to keep the mask on whenever you're out there. I won't tell anyone, but you can't let them guess that you are affected by her disappearance. I am sorry for your loss, truly, but if you don't want to end up gone too, you will have to grieve in silence. Got it?"

Demyx hiccuped. "So you're… willing to help me? Why?"

Axel got up, walking to the door. "I don't really like you, Demyx. I don't have anything against you, it's just that… I don't know, we're not friends or anything. But I know, too…" He closed his eyes, remembering Roxas's face when the boy saw him this afternoon. The redhead had gone straight to where his friend was even before reporting back, and they had shared an ice-cream on the clocktower. As if nothing had happened. "I know how it feels to have someone you care about, and I hope I'll never find out what losing them feels like. Good night, Demyx."

"Hey, Axel, can I ask you one last question?"

"Go ahead."

"Who killed them all? Who is the one who killed her?"

Axel scoffed. "His name is Sora. You'd better get it memorized, because I think we will hear this name again."

"Sora, you say… Thanks, Axel. For everything."

"Don't mention it. Seriously, don't, ever. Try to get some sleep. You won't have any lullaby to play tonight."

Axel left the room, and Demyx buried his head into the pillow, allowing himself for a very last night of that painful grieving.

* * *

 _ **When Demyx died in the manga, he was crying. He's always been one of the most human of them all. If you ever read stuff I post on tumblr too (plumedesimili), Larxene told him not to cry as well, because in a place where you're not supposed to have a heart, crying is quite risky. Although that's probably a 100% OOC headcanon, I can see the not-too-norts acting as a family, they don't like each other much but they'll still care a bit about the others. Anyway, I like writing about this ship, but since they're supposed to hate each other, it's not that easy!  
**_


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